I am perpetually disappointed that my love life does not follow a scene from a romantic movie or novel.
I am single. A single Mother. A single Mother to four children, all boys as well. I don’t work. Can you tell I’m a catch yet? Although, I do consider myself to be slightly witty, and I do have average intelligence (which is better than below average) with a bit of a creative side. I’m also curvy – which apparently some men like. Although I would describe it more as flabby to be honest. “Embrace those curves!!” I hear you cry; well yes…that’s another blog post. 🙂
I’m on Tinder. I’m on Match. I’m on POF and OKCupid. Lets just say you have to sift through alot of dirt in order to find the little gold nuggets. I have not found anyone that I’ve really clicked with yet. I’m also trying to meet men in real life. That is harder than you’d think these days, being a single parent without ample babysitters on tap or plenty of breaks from my children. In my twenties (which was the last time I was properly single) I went to bars and clubs and pubs and found it easy to get chatting. I was always approached, I never had to do any work at all.
It’s very different now. For a start – I am pickier. Not only do I have to like the guy, my kids will have to like him at some point. And I rarely go out (well aside from to the supermarket with all the old people and harassed Mums) so I never get approached.
So I’ve got to sift through all sorts with this online dating, starting with the Kid Fearing Men. There are a lot out there. There are different types – some can accept one kid, but as soon as you rack it up to three or more, they’re out. I tend to get it out there quickly like ripping off a plaster.
Then you’ve got to eliminate the ones who want their own kids – not really an option for me – I don’t want to ever be pregnant again! Narrowing my choices even more.
And then we have the single Dads. usually a good sort – except that then you have the issue of potentially blending a family ending up with 5, 6, or 7 children. That is a lot of children. I’m not sure I could handle that.
So I’m really limited to a man who is in his thirties or early forties, who doesn’t want anymore children but possibly only has one of his own, who likes a lot of kids, who doesn’t mind a curvy lady, and who can deal with all the needy behaviour that comes from being in several failed relationships and previous mental health issues.
Well, its early days and I know I’m nowhere near the point of blended family life or even someone meeting my kids – i haven’t even been on a date yet. But it’s all things to consider right from the outset in my opinion. I don’t want to bother with having a fling or two – as nice as it would be I tend to fall rather quickly and it would be horribly upsetting to fall for someone who was just not going to fit for the long-term.
Are you out there, oh rare one? Do you have room in your life for all of the above? In exchange for a lot of love I might add. 🙂