You’re Still You

This is about my little boys struggle with himself and his feelings. He’s maybe autistic – we don’t know yet, but he struggles every single day with his social and emotional conduct, and this is my story, about how it feels as his Mother.

You’re bouncing around, hitting and kicking

Like a pinball machine, and I’m helplessly watching

I’ve tried scolding you, holding you,

Talking and listening

But nothing is working, you’re becoming so distant

I’ve cried through your anger, torment and pain

I’ve watched you become calm and happy again

You’re stuck in a cycle, so vicious and lost

I’d give anything to help you, no matter the cost

But I can’t understand, and I’ve tried my best

I really don’t know what I’m going to try next

Each day starts with an aggressive shout

It’s like you can’t help it, it’s needs to come out

So we pick up the pieces and start once more

But it’s waiting until next time you slam your door

I try to protect you, and protect your kin

From the stressful, angry, and upsetting din

I’m tired, I’m lonely, I’m hurting too

Because underneath it all, you’re still you

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